Spirituality in youth development
This aspect of youth development is given little attention by most youth professionals. Not that youth professionals are not spiritual, but the uncertainty of how to discuss spiritual matters, within their working environments, is part and parcel of its low priority (Pittman, Garza, Yohalem, Artman, 2008). But for youth professionals, working within faith-based organizations, their goals and objectives with youth are focused primarily around the spiritual and religious attitudes of a faith community. It is within such a community that practices are developed that challenge and sustain one’s faith identity. Such practices can also find value and merit within secular youth programs and organizations.
What is spirituality?
A definitive description of the term spirituality is difficult, if not, impossible. But there are a number of individuals throughout the span of history that have alluded to its essence. For example, the well-renowned, abstract expressionist painter of the twentieth century, Mark Rothko described the moorings of the soul in the following manner:
When I was a younger man, art was a lonely thing: no galleries, no collectors, no critics, no money…Today it is not quite the same. It is a time of tons of verbiage, activity, and consumption…But I do know that many who are driven to this life are desparately [sic] searching for those pockets of silence where they can root and grow. We must all hope that they find them. (p.157)
Those pockets of silence where one can root and grow resonate with the fact that spirituality has to do with being human. Spirituality first and foremost deals with ontology—the fundamental nature of being. Seminary professors Robin Maas and Gabriel O’Donnell, O.P., acknowledged a similar hungering for rootedness within the Christian context: “For there can be no relevance without rootedness, and only the deepest taproots can anchor and support life under harsh and arid conditions (Maas & O’Donnell, O.P., 12). If spirituality is a core aspect of being human, then it has a place of respect and examination within youth development.
In an attempt to address a working definition of spiritual development, The Search Institute’s Center for Spiritual Development in Childhood and Adolescence created the following: “Spiritual development is, in part, a constant, ongoing, dynamic, and sometimes difficult interplay between three core developmental processes: Awareness or awakening, interconnecting and belonging, and a way of living” (Search Institute, 2008). Thus, the way in which one embodies the complexities of spirituality within youth development is through practices, most of which are easily identified through faith-based organizations.
Faith-based practices
Although not an exhaustive list of faith-based practices, the following takes into account the most basic practices of varying religious faiths: Community worship or gathering, prayer, study of sacred texts, rituals of rites of passage (baptism, confirmation, bar/bat mitzvahs, etc.), retreats or pilgrimages, and mission or outreach initiatives/experiences. These practices personify spiritual development among youth and their faith communities.
United Church of Christ minister and scholar, Dorothy C. Bass, makes the following observation, “A practice is borne by stories. Stories shape our deepest convictions about how things are, who we are, and what kind of world we live in—convictions at the heart of all our practices” (Bass, 2000). Such an observation implies that nascent youth spirituality can root and grow through the broad lens of a meta-narrative. Quite possibly such a narrative, which is inclusive of humanity’s strengths and struggles, can help bridge the gap between faith-based and secular youth practices.
References
Rothko, M. (2006). Acceptance of Yale University honorary doctorate, 1969.
In M. Lopez-Remiro (Ed.), Writings on Art (p.157). New Haven & London: Yale University Press.
Mass, R., & Gabriel O’Donnell, O.P. (Eds.). (1990). Spiritual Traditions for the Contemporary Church. Nashville: Abingdon Press.
Pittman, K., Garza, P., Yohalem, N., & Artman, S. (2008) Addressing spiritual
development in youth development programs and practices: Opportunities and challenges. New Directions for Youth Development, 118, 34.
Bass, D.C. (2000). Let Us Talents and Tongues Employ: Practicing Life Abundant.
Retrieved February 24, 2009, from Princeton Theological Seminary, Institute for Youth Ministry Web site: http://www.ptsem.edu/iym/content.aspx?id=3890
Search Institute-The Center for Spiritual Development in Childhood and Adolescence
(2008, March). What is Spiritual Development? Retrieved March 1, 2009 from
http://search-institute.org/system/files/What+Is+Spirit+Dev.pdf
Benson, P., & Roehlkepartain, E. (2008) Spiritual development: A Missing Priority in
Youth Development. New Directions for Youth Development, 118, 14-15.
Pittman, K., Garza, P., Yohalem, N., & Artman, S. (2008) Addressing spiritual
development in youth development programs and practices: Opportunities and challenges. New Directions for Youth Development, 118, 32.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Youth in the Context of Diverse Communities
The following is a discussion board posting from Clemson University's Youth Development Leadership program:
How might understanding the religious aspect of a particular culture’s lifestyle help you to work with diverse families and youth?
Having an appreciation for diverse religious viewpoints, the youth development professional can be sensitive to the needs of planning and implementing leisure activities that may conflict as well as engage faith communities. For example, in a densely populated Jewish community, an YDP might not get the participation he/she is hoping for when scheduling youth events or activities on a Saturday morning. But, the YDP could develop co-ops with the area rabbis and other synagogue leaders to develop interfaith outreach initiatives within their shared community. One such initiative that I volunteered with is the Interfaith Hospitality Network (http://www.familypromise.org/program/interfaith-hospitality-network), which strives to provide shelter for homeless families within houses of worship while parents are looking for work and viable housing. Engaging diverse religious communities through the lens of outreach initiatives, the YDP can develop best practices towards working with diverse families and youth.
What role should religion play (or not play) in a youth development organization?
If the organization is based on religious principles and its values encompass them, then it is appropriate to view religious education and experience as part of the organization’s embedded curriculum (the culture of the organization). This would pertain to faith-based organizations such as houses of worship, parachurch organizations, and parochial schools; but when mainstream (publically-funded) schools and other youth development organizations that reflect many religious and nonreligious viewpoints are, covertly and/or overtly, asked to heed the influences of one dominate religious vein, it then becomes a sticking point with constitutional overtones as well as discord for religious and nonreligious communities. Thus, one can understand why principals and other public school administrators are hesitant to partner with faith-based organizations and programs. It is the religious agendas of these organizations and programs that become suspect. And yet, those that are arguing for a larger religious voice within social services are sending a mixed message to the wider community, especially when it comes to governmental collaboration. For example, it may seem to the casual observer that proponents of religious organizations for providing services, such as youth-serving organizations, are deemed ubiquitous within our American society, but yet only 3% of religious organizations have taken advantage of government-sponsored funds since the passing of faith-based initiatives into law by President Bill Clinton (Chaves, 1999; Ream and Witt, 2004; Hamilton and Hamilton, 2004). Although that percentage may be smaller because of the lack of knowledge of such funding or the inability to write adequate grant proposals, the finding suggests that our American ethos still considers religion to be a matter for the individual.
Is it possible for religion to interfere with positive youth development? If so, how?
The National Study of Youth and Religion found that most teens do believe in God, but for them, religion fades into the background noise of their busy lives (Smith and Denton, 2005). It just happens to be one of the many things that occupy their time. But religion, in general, “provides explanations and assigns values to otherwise inexplicable phenomena. Religion also helps its adherents deal with issues related to human conduct by serving as a mechanism of social control by establishing notions of right and wrong, transferring part of the burden of decision making from individuals to supernatural powers, reducing stress and frustration that often leads to social conflict” (Samover, Porter, & McDaniel, p.103-04). My bias is to caste that definition of religion in another light—Faith. Faith developmental theorist, James Fowler, provides a workable definition of faith that views religion, explicitly, as a communal endeavor:
I believe faith is a human universal. We are endowed at birth with nascent capacities for faith. How these capacities are activated and grow depends to a large extent on how we are welcomed into the world and what kinds of environments we grow in. Faith is interactive and social; it requires community, language, ritual and nurture. Faith is also shaped by initiatives from beyond us and other people, initiatives of spirit or grace (Fowler, 1981, xiii).
The reason I bring attention to this definition is because what the NSYR also found about American teens was that God resembled a “cosmic butler” who waited on them and adhered to their prayers. This cosmic butler made them feel good as long as a crisis didn’t happen (Smith and Denton). What did happen was that the faith communities of those teens were not challenging earlier held concepts of God and allowed their teens to meander through religious symbolism on their own. For the most part, teenagers have had to disciple themselves. That notion is theologically unsound because how can one disciple one’s self? Discipleship is a relational experience between the teacher and student. Now, as a religious educator, I’m as guilty as others for “dropping the ball” when it comes to youth discipleship. And, hopefully, I’ve learned my lesson. But I still believe religion (faith) can be positive and productive in a teen’s life through the dynamic exchange of symbols, rituals, and language that is tested and forged with the help of the faith community. Thus, faith development is communal; it is not a solitary journey.
How has your own religious upbringing affected how you view or judge other people?
This question is somewhat humorous for me as I thought long and hard about how I should describe my religious upbringing. Being raised in the Bible belt, I grew up in the Christian church. I took it for granted in my teen years; but as an undergraduate, my religious formation was heavily influenced by the Baptist Student Union on campus. I got so pumped up on Jesus that I was trying to save every man, woman and child that came across my path. I did not realize it then, but, in a lot of respects, I was judging others because of their lack of self-righteousness...well, back then, that is what I considered what being holy was all about. I touted that badge of courage for about two or three years until I came to the point where it just did not “fit” anymore. I started to question things. I still remember the day I walked into my religion professor’s office and asked, “Dr. Naglee, why do I need Jesus again?” He just chuckled and smiled at me, “Brad, don’t worry, you’ll figure it out.” He just put his hand on my shoulder and gently nudged me back to class.
I sort of put all of that behind me until I considered applying to seminary and working for the church.
I had to rehash some of my old questions, even put some of them on a shelf, so to speak, and come back to them later. But it was not about me trying to save anyone this time around; it was about becoming comfortable with the questions of faith and walking alongside others with similar doubts and fears. I found God through my personal faults and foibles in which forgiveness was in plentiful amount from the Holy Other.
References:
Fowler, J. W. (1981). Stages of faith: the psychology of human development and the quest for meaning. New York: Harper One.
Ream, G. L., & Witt, P. A. (2004). Organizations serving all ages. In S. F. Hamilton and M. A. Hamilton (Eds.), The youth development handbook: coming of age in American communities (pp. 51-76). Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications.
Savor, L. A., Porter, R. E., & McDaniel, E. R. (2007). Communication between cultures (7th Edition). Boston: Wadsworth.
Smith, C., & Denton, M. L. (2005) Soul searching: the religious and spiritual lives of American teenagers. New York: Oxford University Press, Inc.
How might understanding the religious aspect of a particular culture’s lifestyle help you to work with diverse families and youth?
Having an appreciation for diverse religious viewpoints, the youth development professional can be sensitive to the needs of planning and implementing leisure activities that may conflict as well as engage faith communities. For example, in a densely populated Jewish community, an YDP might not get the participation he/she is hoping for when scheduling youth events or activities on a Saturday morning. But, the YDP could develop co-ops with the area rabbis and other synagogue leaders to develop interfaith outreach initiatives within their shared community. One such initiative that I volunteered with is the Interfaith Hospitality Network (http://www.familypromise.org/program/interfaith-hospitality-network), which strives to provide shelter for homeless families within houses of worship while parents are looking for work and viable housing. Engaging diverse religious communities through the lens of outreach initiatives, the YDP can develop best practices towards working with diverse families and youth.
What role should religion play (or not play) in a youth development organization?
If the organization is based on religious principles and its values encompass them, then it is appropriate to view religious education and experience as part of the organization’s embedded curriculum (the culture of the organization). This would pertain to faith-based organizations such as houses of worship, parachurch organizations, and parochial schools; but when mainstream (publically-funded) schools and other youth development organizations that reflect many religious and nonreligious viewpoints are, covertly and/or overtly, asked to heed the influences of one dominate religious vein, it then becomes a sticking point with constitutional overtones as well as discord for religious and nonreligious communities. Thus, one can understand why principals and other public school administrators are hesitant to partner with faith-based organizations and programs. It is the religious agendas of these organizations and programs that become suspect. And yet, those that are arguing for a larger religious voice within social services are sending a mixed message to the wider community, especially when it comes to governmental collaboration. For example, it may seem to the casual observer that proponents of religious organizations for providing services, such as youth-serving organizations, are deemed ubiquitous within our American society, but yet only 3% of religious organizations have taken advantage of government-sponsored funds since the passing of faith-based initiatives into law by President Bill Clinton (Chaves, 1999; Ream and Witt, 2004; Hamilton and Hamilton, 2004). Although that percentage may be smaller because of the lack of knowledge of such funding or the inability to write adequate grant proposals, the finding suggests that our American ethos still considers religion to be a matter for the individual.
Is it possible for religion to interfere with positive youth development? If so, how?
The National Study of Youth and Religion found that most teens do believe in God, but for them, religion fades into the background noise of their busy lives (Smith and Denton, 2005). It just happens to be one of the many things that occupy their time. But religion, in general, “provides explanations and assigns values to otherwise inexplicable phenomena. Religion also helps its adherents deal with issues related to human conduct by serving as a mechanism of social control by establishing notions of right and wrong, transferring part of the burden of decision making from individuals to supernatural powers, reducing stress and frustration that often leads to social conflict” (Samover, Porter, & McDaniel, p.103-04). My bias is to caste that definition of religion in another light—Faith. Faith developmental theorist, James Fowler, provides a workable definition of faith that views religion, explicitly, as a communal endeavor:
I believe faith is a human universal. We are endowed at birth with nascent capacities for faith. How these capacities are activated and grow depends to a large extent on how we are welcomed into the world and what kinds of environments we grow in. Faith is interactive and social; it requires community, language, ritual and nurture. Faith is also shaped by initiatives from beyond us and other people, initiatives of spirit or grace (Fowler, 1981, xiii).
The reason I bring attention to this definition is because what the NSYR also found about American teens was that God resembled a “cosmic butler” who waited on them and adhered to their prayers. This cosmic butler made them feel good as long as a crisis didn’t happen (Smith and Denton). What did happen was that the faith communities of those teens were not challenging earlier held concepts of God and allowed their teens to meander through religious symbolism on their own. For the most part, teenagers have had to disciple themselves. That notion is theologically unsound because how can one disciple one’s self? Discipleship is a relational experience between the teacher and student. Now, as a religious educator, I’m as guilty as others for “dropping the ball” when it comes to youth discipleship. And, hopefully, I’ve learned my lesson. But I still believe religion (faith) can be positive and productive in a teen’s life through the dynamic exchange of symbols, rituals, and language that is tested and forged with the help of the faith community. Thus, faith development is communal; it is not a solitary journey.
How has your own religious upbringing affected how you view or judge other people?
This question is somewhat humorous for me as I thought long and hard about how I should describe my religious upbringing. Being raised in the Bible belt, I grew up in the Christian church. I took it for granted in my teen years; but as an undergraduate, my religious formation was heavily influenced by the Baptist Student Union on campus. I got so pumped up on Jesus that I was trying to save every man, woman and child that came across my path. I did not realize it then, but, in a lot of respects, I was judging others because of their lack of self-righteousness...well, back then, that is what I considered what being holy was all about. I touted that badge of courage for about two or three years until I came to the point where it just did not “fit” anymore. I started to question things. I still remember the day I walked into my religion professor’s office and asked, “Dr. Naglee, why do I need Jesus again?” He just chuckled and smiled at me, “Brad, don’t worry, you’ll figure it out.” He just put his hand on my shoulder and gently nudged me back to class.
I sort of put all of that behind me until I considered applying to seminary and working for the church.
I had to rehash some of my old questions, even put some of them on a shelf, so to speak, and come back to them later. But it was not about me trying to save anyone this time around; it was about becoming comfortable with the questions of faith and walking alongside others with similar doubts and fears. I found God through my personal faults and foibles in which forgiveness was in plentiful amount from the Holy Other.
References:
Fowler, J. W. (1981). Stages of faith: the psychology of human development and the quest for meaning. New York: Harper One.
Ream, G. L., & Witt, P. A. (2004). Organizations serving all ages. In S. F. Hamilton and M. A. Hamilton (Eds.), The youth development handbook: coming of age in American communities (pp. 51-76). Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications.
Savor, L. A., Porter, R. E., & McDaniel, E. R. (2007). Communication between cultures (7th Edition). Boston: Wadsworth.
Smith, C., & Denton, M. L. (2005) Soul searching: the religious and spiritual lives of American teenagers. New York: Oxford University Press, Inc.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Parents aren't the Enemy
It’s been fifteen years since I jumped on that roller coaster ride called youth ministry. Its ups and downs taught me a great deal about myself and others. One of the first rules about youth ministry, I erroneously followed, was that parents were to be removed from the ministry at all costs. When I used to meet with other youth workers for a bite to eat or a cup of joe, they, too, thought parents were “the problem” with our youth ministries. Many times, I felt parents just didn’t understand—maybe Will Smith aka The Fresh Prince actually knew what he was rapping about back in the late 80s. I mean, didn’t parents know we were trying to save their children! But, most likely, I never communicated that to parents at all, though I probably thought they should have known. Now, a little older and hopefully a little wiser, I view parents as allies rather than enemies. But it still takes a lot of prayer and patience to help get everyone on the same page.
Family Influence
In American society, the perception that youth are self-reliant and resilient enough to use their leisure time wisely and have the coping skills to deal with their particular home situation (single-parent, blended family, raised by grandparents, etc.) all by themselves is ill-conceived (Hamilton and Hamilton, 2004). The notion that kids can raise themselves carries unfortunate outcomes for youth, their families, and the communities they live in (Hutchinson and Baldwin, 2005). Because our current society values busyness over and above opportunities for family quality time, the church as well as other youth-serving institutions accepts superficial means of bringing families together: “In recent years, these changes have led to artificial means of bringing children and adults together, such as ‘take a daughter to work’ or ‘take a grandparent to school’ days, or in Christian contexts ‘children sermons’ and ‘youth Sundays’” (McLemore, 2003, p. 9). This attitude is embedded within our culture, and it places more attention on the individual youth rather than the influences and the involvement of his/her family.
Until recently, most of us youth workers thought the main influential factor within adolescent lives were their peers. Although peer-relationships are a prominent aspect in a teen’s life, research has shown that parents and families remain the number one influence for teens (Hutchinson and Baldwin). In fact, the National Study of Youth and Religion found that the majority of religious teens model their parent’s religious lives—this includes worship preferences and the value placed on church attendance (Smith and Denton, 2005). In other words, teens are much more conservative and conventional in regard to spiritual formation than we thought. This shouldn’t be seen as a negative at all. In fact, this is a good thing for youth workers because it provides us with an earmark within our youth programming; for we are able to observe where youth are in their faith through the faith journeys of their parents. It then becomes our jobs to help youth find a faith of their own as they shed their parent’s faith and begin to hear God’s calling in their lives. But this does beg the question, “How are we engaging parents in our youth ministries?”
Collaboration
One of the most important things we can do for parents and families is to reveal their teenager’s talents. Within the life of a busy family, a parent can easily overlook how their teenager is seen by peers, teachers, coaches, and other adults. As youth workers, we can, at least, help them see how friends, other parents, and youth counselors within the church view their sons and daughters. And we do that by affirming their talents or, as Peter Benson of the Search Institute calls them, “sparks”: “A spark is something inside your teenager that gets him excited. It’s something that makes your teenager want to jump out of bed in the morning. Spark is the thing that gives teenagers (and actually all people) meaning" (2008, p. 11), but sometimes youth just don’t talk about it.
Many youth workers are familiar with youth affirmation approaches used in retreats and mission trips. This is usually done by writing down positive, life-affirming comments about all group members and placing them in their respective envelopes or boxes. At the end of the event, the members receive their envelopes and discuss these affirmations in a small group setting. What if we took that same approach to our parent meetings in order to show the various sparks of the youth group? I realize that some youth workers feel that parent meetings are a waste of time, but I believe they can be valuable points of reference for parents, youth, and youth workers, especially when a youth worker is making an attempt towards collaborating with parents and families.
A parent meeting, with the intention of collaboration in mind, reflects the biblical mandate from the Apostle Paul when he said, “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.” (Romans 14: 19, NIV translation). In other words, we are to build each other up in word and in deed. But most parents and youth are bombarded with negative jargon in regard to their competency as being “successful” enough in today’s world. From the stresses of passing yearly scholastic tests to preparing for SATs, youth are always caught within the mix of being labeled not good enough or not smart enough. It’s way too easy for youth to believe these negative labels, no matter how untrue they may be. What Paul challenged the church in Rome to do applies to the faith community of today…build each other up in truth and in love. Youth workers can take what is thought by many as a useless and boring parent meeting and transform it into a shared space between youth and families where renewed, positive images of youth emerge.
The design of such a parent meeting would revolve around activities and program components that match up parents, youth, and youth counselors in teams or groups working together. Of course, information about upcoming events and other activities would be shared, but merely communicating yearly youth events is not the central aim of the parent meeting. The real goal of the parent meeting is to cast youth in a different light than their parents are used to seeing at home. One parent meeting in particular, I designed around the game Who wants to be a Millionaire? I and my youth intern formed teams of 5 to 7 people consisting of youth, counselors, and parents, and each team had an opportunity to answer questions. All of the fun things like lifelines and audience suggestions (our take was calling the pastor) were included. After the game, each team shared with one another the contributions they each brought to the team and the game. This then moved the discussion towards what things youth liked about playing the game. I also have included pumpkin-carving contests and Christmas tree-dressing & caroling contests in parent meetings among other holiday and seasonal themes—activities that included the creative and artistic sparks of youth.
Like I stated earlier, it takes much prayer and patience to develop a ministry to families with youth; but in the long run, youth workers will come to appreciate the guidance and resources parents can share with youth and with the larger church family. Most importantly, a productive youth worker will view collaboration over competition with parents and families any day. But we youth workers must remember that the more sparks we can demonstrate to parents; the better the chance they will be able to support their son or daughter’s passions and dreams to further the kingdom of God.
Family Influence
In American society, the perception that youth are self-reliant and resilient enough to use their leisure time wisely and have the coping skills to deal with their particular home situation (single-parent, blended family, raised by grandparents, etc.) all by themselves is ill-conceived (Hamilton and Hamilton, 2004). The notion that kids can raise themselves carries unfortunate outcomes for youth, their families, and the communities they live in (Hutchinson and Baldwin, 2005). Because our current society values busyness over and above opportunities for family quality time, the church as well as other youth-serving institutions accepts superficial means of bringing families together: “In recent years, these changes have led to artificial means of bringing children and adults together, such as ‘take a daughter to work’ or ‘take a grandparent to school’ days, or in Christian contexts ‘children sermons’ and ‘youth Sundays’” (McLemore, 2003, p. 9). This attitude is embedded within our culture, and it places more attention on the individual youth rather than the influences and the involvement of his/her family.
Until recently, most of us youth workers thought the main influential factor within adolescent lives were their peers. Although peer-relationships are a prominent aspect in a teen’s life, research has shown that parents and families remain the number one influence for teens (Hutchinson and Baldwin). In fact, the National Study of Youth and Religion found that the majority of religious teens model their parent’s religious lives—this includes worship preferences and the value placed on church attendance (Smith and Denton, 2005). In other words, teens are much more conservative and conventional in regard to spiritual formation than we thought. This shouldn’t be seen as a negative at all. In fact, this is a good thing for youth workers because it provides us with an earmark within our youth programming; for we are able to observe where youth are in their faith through the faith journeys of their parents. It then becomes our jobs to help youth find a faith of their own as they shed their parent’s faith and begin to hear God’s calling in their lives. But this does beg the question, “How are we engaging parents in our youth ministries?”
Collaboration
One of the most important things we can do for parents and families is to reveal their teenager’s talents. Within the life of a busy family, a parent can easily overlook how their teenager is seen by peers, teachers, coaches, and other adults. As youth workers, we can, at least, help them see how friends, other parents, and youth counselors within the church view their sons and daughters. And we do that by affirming their talents or, as Peter Benson of the Search Institute calls them, “sparks”: “A spark is something inside your teenager that gets him excited. It’s something that makes your teenager want to jump out of bed in the morning. Spark is the thing that gives teenagers (and actually all people) meaning" (2008, p. 11), but sometimes youth just don’t talk about it.
Many youth workers are familiar with youth affirmation approaches used in retreats and mission trips. This is usually done by writing down positive, life-affirming comments about all group members and placing them in their respective envelopes or boxes. At the end of the event, the members receive their envelopes and discuss these affirmations in a small group setting. What if we took that same approach to our parent meetings in order to show the various sparks of the youth group? I realize that some youth workers feel that parent meetings are a waste of time, but I believe they can be valuable points of reference for parents, youth, and youth workers, especially when a youth worker is making an attempt towards collaborating with parents and families.
A parent meeting, with the intention of collaboration in mind, reflects the biblical mandate from the Apostle Paul when he said, “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.” (Romans 14: 19, NIV translation). In other words, we are to build each other up in word and in deed. But most parents and youth are bombarded with negative jargon in regard to their competency as being “successful” enough in today’s world. From the stresses of passing yearly scholastic tests to preparing for SATs, youth are always caught within the mix of being labeled not good enough or not smart enough. It’s way too easy for youth to believe these negative labels, no matter how untrue they may be. What Paul challenged the church in Rome to do applies to the faith community of today…build each other up in truth and in love. Youth workers can take what is thought by many as a useless and boring parent meeting and transform it into a shared space between youth and families where renewed, positive images of youth emerge.
The design of such a parent meeting would revolve around activities and program components that match up parents, youth, and youth counselors in teams or groups working together. Of course, information about upcoming events and other activities would be shared, but merely communicating yearly youth events is not the central aim of the parent meeting. The real goal of the parent meeting is to cast youth in a different light than their parents are used to seeing at home. One parent meeting in particular, I designed around the game Who wants to be a Millionaire? I and my youth intern formed teams of 5 to 7 people consisting of youth, counselors, and parents, and each team had an opportunity to answer questions. All of the fun things like lifelines and audience suggestions (our take was calling the pastor) were included. After the game, each team shared with one another the contributions they each brought to the team and the game. This then moved the discussion towards what things youth liked about playing the game. I also have included pumpkin-carving contests and Christmas tree-dressing & caroling contests in parent meetings among other holiday and seasonal themes—activities that included the creative and artistic sparks of youth.
Like I stated earlier, it takes much prayer and patience to develop a ministry to families with youth; but in the long run, youth workers will come to appreciate the guidance and resources parents can share with youth and with the larger church family. Most importantly, a productive youth worker will view collaboration over competition with parents and families any day. But we youth workers must remember that the more sparks we can demonstrate to parents; the better the chance they will be able to support their son or daughter’s passions and dreams to further the kingdom of God.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Church Staff Conflict as a Spiritual Discipline
Church staff cannot afford to relegate their spirituality with haphazard abandon anymore. Anecdotally, talented staff personnel are being discarded by their congregations and their pastors because they cannot produce fast enough results. The production line mentality still prevails in most North American churches. Slogans and campaigns ushering in “bigger is better!” flood the marquees and lawns of churches in novel disguise—the latest church program, the newest Bible study, and especially, the expansion of building projects. This is the reality of the church today. And because of this reality, the need for church leaders that understand their vocational calling as agents of change and co-creators with Christ are paramount. Conflicts that manifest itself within most church staffs arise from this very reality—the anxiety of producing more for a consumer-driven society.
Inevitably, anger becomes the primary emotion when conflict arises. As church staff personnel are vying for competing budget hikes, volunteers, and valuable time off, there are bound to be moments of conflict that provoke anger. Most of the time, anger is but a cue that church staff feel that the sanctity of fairness has been diminished amongst them. All parties involved have the right to feel what they feel. In fact, anger can be the catalyst for hope and courage:
Anger can give us the energy and the willingness to speak up, speak out, march, vote, protest, refuse to participate, resist evil, and blow the whistle. Anger provides courage, one of the gifts we can receive from anger that grows out of love.
As a visual artist, I am reminded of how many times people view my work either in the field (sketching in public venues) or in a show/gallery setting and tell me that they could never do what I do. I chuckle and suggest that if they really want to learn, all they need to do is practice. They find that amusing but never take me at my word. But practice, practice, and more practice are needed when learning the difficult task of engaging conflict for productive means.
If Christians are not practicing the art of anger as hope and courage, then anger as a knee-jerk reaction will take the shape and form of violence. Like the following story of professor Andrew Lester who, as a young boy, was bullied until he could no longer take it:
When I was in the seventh grade, a boy named Ira transferred into our school. For reasons I never understood, Ira picked on me constantly. His favorite annoyance was to jump on my back when I wasn’t looking. I tried to ignore him, be nice, and avoid fighting, but to no avail. One day when Ira jumped on my back, I didn’t control my anger. It exploded, and I threw him over my head onto the basketball court and began to heat his head on the asphalt. When the coach finally pulled me off, I was shaking with rage. His tears, cries of pain, and the blood on his head also left me frightened. Guilt piled on immediately. Having trespassed against my moral values about not being angry and not hurting people, I was embarrassed by my behavior. I vowed anew never to get angry.
Because he wasn't sure how to set boundaries with Ira, Andrew’s level of frustration increased until he did something about it—something that took total control over him. The sign of a mature Christian is not to smile at all costs, but instead demonstrate integrity through the fruit one bears in whatever setting they may be a part of.
Unfortunately, most church staffs are not trained in conflict management, and even if they were, who knows if they would follow protocol. Again, it all depends on the intentionality of the Christians on a church staff. If they are doing the work of being a disciple, they are, most likely, growing into a mature faith. But conflict on church staff’s will always abound with more frequency when one’s spirituality is left unchecked because “spirituality is the total relation of the whole person to the whole of life” (Jones, 1992). Integration is paramount. The integration of the whole self by way of God’s transformative power (grace) is that which reminds us all that we are children of the living God.
Too many times, church staff personnel work within isolated pockets of ministry. They gather together maybe once a week for the hourly staff meeting. But if true collegiality is promoted throughout the staff, creative dialogue about ministry opportunities and listening to the Holy Spirit’s prompting will emerge. If this sense of collegiality is in place, healthy conflict can be achieved because all will know that they are valued.
*All quotes are cited from Andrew Lester's work The Angry Christian unless otherwise noted.
Inevitably, anger becomes the primary emotion when conflict arises. As church staff personnel are vying for competing budget hikes, volunteers, and valuable time off, there are bound to be moments of conflict that provoke anger. Most of the time, anger is but a cue that church staff feel that the sanctity of fairness has been diminished amongst them. All parties involved have the right to feel what they feel. In fact, anger can be the catalyst for hope and courage:
Anger can give us the energy and the willingness to speak up, speak out, march, vote, protest, refuse to participate, resist evil, and blow the whistle. Anger provides courage, one of the gifts we can receive from anger that grows out of love.
As a visual artist, I am reminded of how many times people view my work either in the field (sketching in public venues) or in a show/gallery setting and tell me that they could never do what I do. I chuckle and suggest that if they really want to learn, all they need to do is practice. They find that amusing but never take me at my word. But practice, practice, and more practice are needed when learning the difficult task of engaging conflict for productive means.
If Christians are not practicing the art of anger as hope and courage, then anger as a knee-jerk reaction will take the shape and form of violence. Like the following story of professor Andrew Lester who, as a young boy, was bullied until he could no longer take it:
When I was in the seventh grade, a boy named Ira transferred into our school. For reasons I never understood, Ira picked on me constantly. His favorite annoyance was to jump on my back when I wasn’t looking. I tried to ignore him, be nice, and avoid fighting, but to no avail. One day when Ira jumped on my back, I didn’t control my anger. It exploded, and I threw him over my head onto the basketball court and began to heat his head on the asphalt. When the coach finally pulled me off, I was shaking with rage. His tears, cries of pain, and the blood on his head also left me frightened. Guilt piled on immediately. Having trespassed against my moral values about not being angry and not hurting people, I was embarrassed by my behavior. I vowed anew never to get angry.
Because he wasn't sure how to set boundaries with Ira, Andrew’s level of frustration increased until he did something about it—something that took total control over him. The sign of a mature Christian is not to smile at all costs, but instead demonstrate integrity through the fruit one bears in whatever setting they may be a part of.
Unfortunately, most church staffs are not trained in conflict management, and even if they were, who knows if they would follow protocol. Again, it all depends on the intentionality of the Christians on a church staff. If they are doing the work of being a disciple, they are, most likely, growing into a mature faith. But conflict on church staff’s will always abound with more frequency when one’s spirituality is left unchecked because “spirituality is the total relation of the whole person to the whole of life” (Jones, 1992). Integration is paramount. The integration of the whole self by way of God’s transformative power (grace) is that which reminds us all that we are children of the living God.
Too many times, church staff personnel work within isolated pockets of ministry. They gather together maybe once a week for the hourly staff meeting. But if true collegiality is promoted throughout the staff, creative dialogue about ministry opportunities and listening to the Holy Spirit’s prompting will emerge. If this sense of collegiality is in place, healthy conflict can be achieved because all will know that they are valued.
*All quotes are cited from Andrew Lester's work The Angry Christian unless otherwise noted.
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